Week 3: Saying “Lights Out” to .15667% of the NFL for 2009

Rest in Peace. We barely knew yee

As Shawn Merriman most likely whispered to Tila Tequilla on many a crisp  San Diego night, lights out on the 2009 season for the following teams:

Washington Redskins– Time for a new quarterback/coach/everything… Jason Campbell continues to achieve nothing but backup quarterback status. The $100-million dollar man gets carted off the field in Albert Hanyesworth and I smell a crumbling empire.

Cleveland Browns- Um please make this Eric Mangini era come to an end as soon as possible. Why bench Brady Quinn? You’re not winning this year if the love child of Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas was playing quarterback, so what good does it do putting Derek Anderson in/what good has it done having one of these two guys ROTTING away on the bench the past two season. It’s LOL-LMAO-Make me cry myself to sleep at night funny.

Saint Louis Rams- It was nice not inviting Tory Holt back to live through this season, but can you guys please let Steven Jackson play for a winner?

Kansas City Chiefs- I got nothing witty to say here. Glad I don’t live in the greater Kansas City region and forced to watch this sinking ship.

Tampa Bay BuccaneersI’d love to say the Giants are the best team in football, but watching the Bucs play on Sunday had me feeling sympathetic. And whenever you feel sympathy for an athlete or team, chances are they are terrible at the sport they’re playing.

(POTENTIALLY add the Carolina Panthers to this list if they look like doo-doo tomorrow night).

Trying to be Tom Brady-esch Again-

I understand Brady’s frustration with himself and his receivers on Sunday, as he was visibly upset and annoyed with himself and teammates throughout the game. But that was a nice win for the Pats. He was strong in the 2nd half of today’s game, and despite the verdict still pending on whether the Falcons are going to be a factor or not, a strong Patriots win on a day where the team wasn’t looking as sharp as they can be, is a nice sign. It’s also reassuring to see Brady bounced back strong, and  take over a game that his team needed to win for their own psyche’s sake, nice win for the Patriots.

Mark Sanchez Man Crush

Yes- he’s a handsome man, and poses with models in GQ, but this dude can play also. The Jets are now 3-0, beating a team who coming into the season, I would have guessed they never had a shot against. Sanchez once again was brilliant, and despite an interception that was somewhat his fault late in the game (it also did hit Stuckey’s hand, despite it not being the most accurate of passes), Sanchez showed the poise that makes you believe that he’s going to be around for a very long time. In addition to that, did any of you see that Jets defense in the 4th Quarter, why Rex Ryan wasn’t a head coach in this league prior to this season is beyond me. He’s got these guys flying around on defense and loading up blitz formations where running backs are left to pick one of three charging defenders.

Farve is Back?

He was injured in the first half and about as indecisive as they get when it comes to retiring, but you can’t take away his ability to bring back his team from the brink of defeat, as he did everything he could to prevent the Vikings from losing to the Niners in the closing seconds of Sunday’s game. Now if he could figure out a way to match this sort of poise all game, he might not be the 22 INT’s thrown a season guy Jets fans we’re accustom to down the stretch last season.

Speaking of the Niners…

I’m SO GLAD they’re back to their old school jerseys on the regular. Those jerseys symbolize the greatness that, that franchise was in the 80’s and early 90’s, as oppose to that other hideous thing they were wearing during the course of the past 10 seasons with that weird black outlining… Be right back, I need to puke in my shirt at that thought of those gross things.

It’s no coincidence the team is playing competitive football again this season, with the new jerseys. What’s still pending is just how good this team is, but they looked pretty strong on Sunday, and they did it without their best player, running back Frank Gore. It’s a weak division they play in, and they already have a win against the Cardinals, so lets see where Mike Singletary can ride this pony to.

Nice Jersey! (nfl.com)

Nice Jersey! (nfl.com)

Disgusting Jersey, How many colors can you fit on to this crap?

Disgusting Jersey, How many colors can you fit on to this crap?

JaMarcus Russell-

This guy might be a freak athletically and maybe can throw an 80 yard pass from a knee, but can this guy hit the broad side of a barn with a football? I’m not sure

His completion percentage this season is now at 42% for the season. So despite his ability to throw the bomb, he’ll need to be more accurate if he wants to refrain from the list of “Worst #1 picks of All-Time”. He’s become the equivalent of one of the Golf Driving Competitions that you see on ESPN 2 late night. Maybe you can slug a tee shot 400 yards, but you still can’t do enough to be a professional golfer. He’s the most important aspect of the Raiders season/future. So as Mr. JaMarcus goes, so goes the Raiders.

I Dont care what anyone says…

It’s nice seeing Michael Vick back on a football field. I’m all for second chances, and this guy had to go through hell to get back on the field. Hell- we gave Ted Kennedy a second chance after his accident.

The Jinx of “Hard Knocks” Snapped?

If it wasn’t for this miracle play, The Bengals would be 3-0…

(Is this what Football looked like before I bought my HDTV?)

Could the Bengals really threaten the Steelers in the AFC North?  That’s TBD. Sunday was the first time Ben Rothlisberger has lost in the state of Ohio. That’s insane for a guy who plays 4-times a year there.

See you next week, Happy Monday friends.

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